As days of this desire stirring around turned into weeks, and then into a month, my prayers began to shift. I began to change my prayer from, choose someone who knows how to do this, to... okay God, if this is from you- if this is what you're asking me to do- show me how. Lead me step by step and God please give me the wisdom I will need to learn. Chad, my sweet husband, and I talked about how crazy this would be- to tell our families that we were going to try and start a school. I also wondered why more people didn’t start a school? I would come to find out that answer very soon into the process.
“For we walk by faith and not by sight… through the past few months God you have shown me the need for a school- one that is faith based and Spirit filled. God I pray for your next steps- How? Where do I begin, Lord? Starting a school sounds HUGE, but you have given me this vision for it- I can see it- but how Lord God? God nothing is too big for you- I know you have the plan- every step. God I pray for your wisdom and guidance. I pray for you to place those people along my path- help me find the right next step or person to get this going. I feel the need. I have the desire. I want to step out of the boat and do this. God will you show me? Go with me. I can’t do this without you Lord.”
I gained the courage to finally speak to someone about this idea that I knew would be honest with me. Chad had been so supportive- he’s my number one fan- believing in me when I have a random idea- and then giving me the time, love, and resources to make it happen.(Even helping clean the house and taking the kids somewhere to play when we had women over for our IF:Tables). If we were going to be serious about considering this idea- I knew we would need help. I went to Mrs.Cindy and Mr.Joe to share this crazy idea, or what I thought was crazy. I knew I could trust their opinion, knowing me and my family so well. I also knew going to them- I would get honest advice- as people who are dedicated to their relationship with the Lord and people who have supported me from the beginning of IF and helped guide me through the tour with Jennie Allen- I wanted to know what they thought. So I started by sharing the past couple months and how God had planted this idea of starting an independent school here in Clarksville. “Isn’t this crazy?” I said...
...and their response was perfect..
“Sara- why is it crazy?” Well, my response was- “Who am I to start a school? I don’t know everything about how to do this!”
The next sentence would be something that would really shift my thinking and start bringing me to the realization that maybe this IS something I can do..
Mr. Joe said, Sara- you don’t have to know EVERYTHING about starting a school, but you need to have people around you who are experts in different areas- People with the right heart and a shared vision to come alongside you and support this.
It makes sense right? Why did I think one person would need to have all the answers and all the wisdom? We went on to talk about making an appointment with the Department of Education to see how to get this process started. Where do you start when you want to launch a school from the ground up? He told me he would work on making an appointment and go with Chad and I to help. I was so grateful- to have their support and guidance. I immediately started researching, and I may or may not have googled, “How to start a school” once or twice.
“This morning I am reading 1 Samuel 22: 1-4. You are my rock, my refuge, my defender. You are my great deliverer. I want to place my hand in your hand God. I ask for your Holy Spirit to guide me, equip me, empower me for what you have planned. God- it feels like those walls of Jericho- it feels too big for me to start a school. But I trust you Lord- I believe and ask for your vision and will to be done Lord God.”
Later on that week, Mr. Joe called to let me know that he had made an appointment for us to meet with a lady from the Department of Education in Jason Hodges office, our State Representative.. My first reaction was excitement.. AHHH! I can’t believe this is really happening.. I was smiling ear to ear.
Then literally within seconds, that ahhhh… turned into AGH!!! What do I think I am doing? The doubt and fear that I was beginning to feel was overwhelming. I started to think about all the giants in the way. I started thinking about wasting Mr. Joe and Chad’s day going to Nashville. All the what if’s.. Just pouring in.
I have to tell you, what was about to happen would be the first of many confirmations from God. That this was good...keep going Sara.. trust me. In less than two minutes, another text came through. It was from a sweet dear friend of mine that I hadn’t had the chance to talk to in a couple weeks.She texted me out of the blue with this…
YES!! Is your mouth wide open like mine was? I couldn’t believe it! How crazy is that God would put me on her heart- so strongly that she would listen to him and text me totally out of the blue?!
This was such a reassurance that God’s got this. He will equip me where I am weak- He will give me confidence when I am fearful. Tears began to flow down my face as I felt so known by Him. That he would know me right here, right now so intimately that he would send the exact words from a friend- He knew I would feel this way- He knew the thoughts that would overwhelm my mind. And He flooded those fears with His love and promises.
“Just as soon as those doubts started to pour in on am I enough? You sent a word through her for me. Thank you Lord- God thank you for knowing me-my strengths- my weaknesses- my heart and my desires. Thank you Lord for choosing me- for allowing me to be a part of something so special and so beautiful for the children, for the families. God you will make this beautiful. I pray all Glory and all praise goes to you. I love you.”
At that moment, I was all in. We are going to do this, aren't we God?