I want to take you back to something I wrote in my journal last May..
"Lord God, with my job- I pray for your will God, and allow the puzzle pieces to fully align- showing me the way Lord. are you teaching me to be content and stay? Or are you blessing me with a new opportunity? Help me Lord not to stress or worry, but to follow you. I pray for the places you are preparing for me- that your beautiful will come to fruition Lord God.
I sing Hallelujah. You are so good God. My purpose is to share you here on Earth.I pray Lord that wherever you place me- that I am able to fully flourish in there."
We had just finished this crazy awesome experience of bringing Jennie Allen to Clarksville on Tour. Our IF:Clarksville group teamed up with a local church to host her and Christy Nockels, along with 700 other women from around our area. That day, April 7th, felt like such a culminating day. How in the world did we go from just starting our first If:Table with 10 women to having the visionary and founder of IF come to Clarksville? What! That's God!
The journey of IF and how it began and continued to grow came from such a broken time in my life, just after losing Shea. Looking back now on the past three years- it is such a God story. It was through those gatherings, those dinners with other women having intentional face to face conversations about Jesus, that my life began to shift. If you would like to read more about this time in my life, my sister Lindsey and I wrote about it through a blog. You can also go there to see Shea’s very own blog and website. Still today, I love going back to her blog to read her words. I can hear her voice in my head and the way her voice would change with excitement or sadness. But, watching Shea battle cancer changed our entire family, but most of all it was her faith through that fight that changed us. Then after losing her so unexpectedly- that kind of a loss stops your whole world.
My whole perspective on life was different. I share all of this with you because I think it is so important for you to know where I am coming from. I want you to be able to understand how God has been molding and transforming me, bringing me to a place where I could and would say YES to him. The Sara three years ago, wouldn’t be here taking these kinds of risks and leaps of faith. But it is through his faithfulness to my family and I- it is through the way He has been there to lead me as I took small steps of obedience in saying yes, I will try this.
"God I am nervous about everything changing. I want to follow your plans for me God- the path you have set out. Will you show me the way Lord? I trust your timing Lord Jesus- I trust the closed doors and the open ones. Lord God in the waiting, give me patience and through prayer, help me not to worry about the what ifs- through the waiting help me not to miss what's in front of me today- where you need me to go today. God forgive me for every time I keep trying to take the pen out of your hand. Forgive me for trying to go ahead of you and figure everything out."
He has always been there- guiding me and comforting me- giving me the words to say or the courage to step out. My relationship with God is totally different now and I want to share that with others. I believe you are reading these words because there is something inside of you that is either interested in how to start a school, curious about who I am and where this idea came from, or maybe you are still reading because there is something stirring inside of you- a leap of faith He is asking you to take?
"God this morning I come before you, praying Lord for your eyes to see and your heart to move mine. Lord I need your guidance in knowing the assignment you have for me Lord. My purpose is to love you and share you. I don't want anything less than what you have for me, the path you would have for me- the path I am to serve you in. God change my heart to want the desires of your heart. Where will you have me go Lord? I am open to your desire- your plan. I want it to fully glorify your name- I want to invest in Heaven. Oh God, I pray for your wisdom, you know my heart- my strengths- what and where I need to be- You know me."
There is a quote from the book, "Come Hell or High Water" written by Kevin Miller, that I keep going back to over and over again, “If you keep waiting to follow God until He maps out all the details like Google Maps, you'll miss out on the adventure of the journey. Embrace the detours, the dips, the delays, and the distance. It's all part of it, and they'll make you better prepared when you arrive."
I don’t know all of the answers, I don’t know exactly what’s to come, but I do know who goes before me. I am excited about the adventure ahead of myself and my family, and I invite you to come along with us….
With a grateful heart,