“You should probably choose someone else”... those were my words when the desire to start a school was planted in my heart. "God, I don’t know how to start a school." Even after 11 years in education- that seemed like way too big of a task for me. I immediately started to disqualify myself- I didn’t feel equipped for the task at hand. It was at that point last April, that I had no idea what was to come…
Let's back track for a moment. One of the things you should know about me right off the bat, and it will make more sense a little later on... is that I love to journal. I didn’t quite understand the purpose or really how to do it for a while. After losing our sister Shea, it took me months before I finally began to pour out my heart through writing. I had felt intimidated by that very first blank page, and then on top of that, I kept wondering about what would happen if I really did pour out my heart and someone else read it? They would think I was crazy! I remember the exact day that I finally let all of the worries of doing it correctly, or someone else reading it- and I began to just write out a prayer to God. I sat for an hour or so, just writing any thought that would come into my mind- the thoughts that had been stirring around in my head for months as I pushed the grief down.
After I finished writing that day, it felt like the chains were coming off.
I had felt so trapped by these emotions and thoughts being stored inside of me- I was finally able to surrender all of it over to God.
Journaling has been one of those things that I can pin point and say yes- that's when it started to shift from religion to relationship. That’s when I stopped trying to hide the “mess” and be real with God. I wanted you to know this because throughout this blog, I want to share some of those thoughts and prayers with you- I am going to be vulnerable and real with you- in hopes that through this journey, you will see Him.
I pray that by sharing the story of how this school began to form and the adventure it has been trying to launch a new school- you will see just how faithful God is, how alive He is, and maybe you will find the encouragement you need to go for it.. for that super scary thing you feel like He is asking you to do too?
"He who calls you is faithful, He will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:24
One last thing...Just this week, I had the opportunity to share this story on a podcast with Stephani Cook and Hannah Conway. This was my first podcast recording ever, and I was super nervous excited about it! During my interview I was able to talk about the experiences that have happened over the past three years and then towards the end, it is my first time actually speaking about the school to others. It felt so surreal to talk about something I've been praying and writing about for so long...just the beginning of this crazy awesome story He is writing. I honestly feel so grateful and just in awe that He is placing me here to be a part of this school. It makes me feel so loved that God would know my heart so intimately, by bundling together faith and education in this way.
With a grateful heart,